Truth or Dare

Perhaps a quirky theme of words here, but the terms 'truth' and 'dare' keep popping up over and over again. Like in the Love Dare book my husband and I are reading, which then inspired my posts I dare you and I double dare you . And now twice again over the past few days. Peculiar… I wonder…

My daughter Claire (11) just attended a birthday sleepover. Not my favourite in the long list of social activities that our kids participate in. And I prefer to RSVP to these parties with a negative… especially if the event is not celebrating a birthday. This one was a birthday sleepover, so after some careful consideration, I/we said yes.

So, with our kids all safely tucked into their prospective social lives, Bob and I headed out for an adult evening. We went to see the 'Hip' (Tragically Hip) and had a fun evening in the company of a crowd of about 2500 people who enthusiastically participated in the awesome musical event by dancing, screaming, drinking beer, and smoking pot. No, not us, but the people around us did. As a matter of fact, there was so much toking going on that, by the time the doors to the Performance Center were thrown open at the end of the concert, the smoke poured out with the people! I loved the music, but found the 'Sodomesque' environment a tad distracting at times.

When we arrived home, there were two messages on the answering machine. One was hard to understand… many young girl voices laughing and yelling and talking at once… and the second was our daughter explaining the first message to us. "Hey Mom and Dad", she said, "We are just playing Truth or Dare, and that was just a joke phone call to Malcolm (her 13 year old brother), so don't worry." OK, I won't worry, I thought… of course immediately worrying about what a bunch of 11 year old girls were doing making late night 'crank' phone calls and playing Truth or Dare in the first place.

After picking up my daughter and her friends the following day, I asked questions to try to determine what type of dares and truths were dealt with, how the game happened (apparently it was actually a board game given as a birthday present) and whether there might be any consequences to what had been done or shared as a result. And then I had to decide whether or not I needed to have a follow up 'teaching moment' with my daughter later… and yep, it's going to have to happen.

So, fast forward to about 10 minutes ago when I read today's blog at 'Dances with God', only to find a version of adult Truth or Dare that rocked me. Well, more truth than dare… but my point is that no matter when, if we are willing to speak truth, there will be consequences both for ourselves and often rippling out to others in our lives.

The truth disclosed by the author of Dances with God is in response to 'The Honest Scrap', in which you tell 10 true things about yourself that nobody else knows, and post them on your blog. Various other rules apply which I won't get into here.

Now I'm not saying that I'm ready or willing to disclose the type of truth that was bravely disclosed in 'Dances with God', but I have to say that I respect Pastor Sharon for doing so, and I'm thinking I'd better park here for a while to consider exactly what my heart is saying in response, and how I will apply that in my own life. Truth is often like that… it convicts… creates change… growth.

I've said that my life is an open book… but are some pages still stuck together? Am I daring enough to pry them (painfully) open?

I wonder how truthful I can really be… with you, with myself?

Lesley-Anne

Creative joint venture anyone?

I'm passionate about developing my poetry blog, my grace notes, into a daily endeavor, primarily for expression, but also for exposure. Isn't that where all writers eventually end up… wanting to touch humanity with what touches our own souls? I do. I hope you do too.

And I love what the combination of imagery and words can do to create a feel and to broaden the experience of the reader/viewer.

If you've already been visiting my grace notes, you will know that the photos and the poetry are not always literally connected. I'm more interested in texture, form, colour, design, dramatic impact and creative interpretation in the visual arts. I'd like to continue in this direction.

My focus will be to concentrate on the writing side of things… and so would like to offer this for your consideration;

… an opportunity to contribute photographs to my blog. In return I would provide hyperlinks to your blog/website and give you full credit for your work.


I recognize that I am taking baby steps at this point, but I'm so aware of the potential there is in helping one another along the way.

Does this appeal to anyone?

Please let me know through email to mygracenotes@shaw.ca

Thanks for considering this,

Lesley-Anne

A tale of two cottages

Upon being home for a week from family holidays, this is some thoughts on our time away:

Two weeks, two locations, two different cottages, and two very different experiences.

The first week… coming down from the busyness of life, and at the same time getting into the groove of being together 24/7 with kids and husband… brought a myriad of emotions to the surface. Some good, some complicated. But the end result was a rush of creativity from deep in my psyche that found a home in words. Lots and lots of words written into my journal as we drove in the car, sat in the cottage, walked on the beach… even as we sat together in restaurants. Scribbling madly at all times of the day and night… inspired by every imaginable thing, but MOSTLY by the place.

Here is that place…

Even the sheer number of photos taken in and around the cottage show me that this place was special… it had a sense of itself… a history… a unique story to tell… didn't have to prove anything to anyone… it just was. And my love of most things 'old' instantly bonded me to it. And at home in this place, my creative side was at home too rather than hiding and seeking an appropriate time and place to emerge.

I've seldom seen as many doors or cupboards as this cottage had… along with squeaky doors and stairs, dishes with a lighthouse motif, and a washer and dryer in the old garage with it's resident spiders. The stove was crooked, the dishwasher (oh, there was no dishwasher!), and the falling down hand built stone wall with it's half dead perennial border were things that I very quickly grew to love. Was it perfect… no! Was it real and exactly what I/we needed… yep! Some sand in the corners, slightly worn chairs in the living room, and a flagpole in the yard that had given in to the onslaught of salt air over many years. Very quirky…

Things that I remember best are windows thrown open to the sea breezes, a long winding pathway down to the beach… and a view of the horizon when the fog cleared. Then, on the very last evening… whales! Three of them!

So, I can say that our week together in this wonderful, old, creaky cottage was memorable… was fulfilling… was good. The latest postings at my poetry blog 'my grace notes' are reflective of that.

The second cottage was lovely too… but in a neat, well put together, newish kind of way. We could have been anywhere in the world inside the walls of this townhouse…beachy decor abounded, and the views out the windows were not of the sea, but of other vacation homes in the rather densely developed 'neighbourhood'.

It was clean and tidy, beds were comfortable, and appliances of the stainless steel kind. Every need was met, but my soul was not at home there. It's not the first time we've stayed in a vacation property like that one… but the result is always the same for me… slightly disappointed… slightly pensive and wishing for something a little more real. You know… with some there there.

I don't even have a good photo of the outside to show you… just this porch shot of me with a book… snoozing in the sun (which we seldom saw), and another from the porch looking at the surrounding neighbourhood. I think you get the general idea though.

So I walked on the beach in search of what I left behind in the other cottage and it's surroundings. Found a different type of beach with different treasures. Found things to do and places to go with the family… all good, all memories that I/we will cherish.

But, the first cottage is going to stick with me for some time, both in photos and in my mind as a place that stimulated creativity and writing through it's lack of pretence, and it's abundance of character… something that this 40 something writer/poet can relate to.

That's me anyway…

Lesley-Anne

I double dare you…

After two weeks on the road, our family has arrived home again. And after that length of time with the rest of my (trapped) family members, I have to say that this 'love dare' thing I/we started has applications to not only marriage, but every other relationship I have. Trouble is, I'm recognizing that I'm messing up in almost every case (except for with Buddy, my dog, who is the most forgiving family member I live with, and he was at home these two weeks with the house/dog-sitter).

Anyway, the man in my life (my darling hubby of 22 years) and I, found it hard to consistently read a chapter a day while on vacation, so we are about to start again on the daily dare thing now that we are back home. He thinks we'll be able to focus better. I think it might just be a different type of struggle for focus, but I'm still game.

This morning I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat on the porch to read "Day 7 - Love Believes the Best"… for the second time. I find I have to read things two and three times these days for the words to really sink in (or is that just a sign of aging?) So I read the chapter and I did my fair share of twitching and fidgeting as I felt both self-righteous and guilty at the same time. Then I got to my favourite part… the dare!!!

Today it was all about writing lists… two lists. One to focus on the positive characteristics of my man… one on the negative. And then the lists were to be put in a secret place for later… for what I wondered?

It felt weird writing down some of the things I did, but in another way it was good to really search out words to express all the good (bad and ugly) things that I felt about my husband. And I soon saw that the positive list was longer than the negative… that was a surprise :) And, I also saw that some of the same things were on both lists, but in different ways.

For example… being a leader was on the positive list… while being a control freak was on the negative list. Just a slight twist in perspective takes a good thing and turns it sour. Back to the concept of love believing the best rather than the worst about those we care about, right? Seems I need a wee bit of rehabilitation in this area. But, one day at a time.

So, my lists are written, and hidden. And I'm waiting for what comes next. In the meantime I'm searching for my man's hiding spot, and hoping his positive list is longer too.

Oh, you can get this book online or at your (my local) Christian bookstore.

Willing to change,

Lesley-Anne

I dare you…!!!

We have been on family vacation for a week now… from our drive down Hwy 97 into the US, enjoying the hot arid climate of the Okanogan Valley of Washington State, not much different than Kelowna, our home. Then, along the Historic Columbia River Highway into Portland… amazing scenery, wonderful meals, different hotels each night, and lots of together time. It took some getting used to… being together 24-7!

Started something new today… day seven of holidays and day one of 'The Love Dare'… a book I picked up yesterday in a Seaside, Oregon book store. It caught my eye because I'd heard of it in a couple of different places. Watched the movic 'Fireproof' with the family, in which this Love Dare is a concept undertaken by the main character to save his failing marriage. Each day for (40?) days, a different reading along with an application immediately applied in my marriage… so, not just heady stuff, but real life stuff.

I think it's going to be hard. I don't know if I can do it.

And having spoken those negative words here… ironically here is day one's 'Dare':

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

Here goes…

Do you twitter?

I've been online a lot lately, trying to find out what blogs are interesting, who's saying what, reading what, following what. I've been networking a wee bit and trying to make connections with potential readers, but most of all I've been blogging on my blogs.

It's a tad overwhelming trying to figure it all out… and wondering at times why I'm trying to conquer the virtual world… or even get a handle on something that is a constant moving target. Bottom line is I really just want to write, receive the ocassional comment, and know that I've somehow connected with a real person out there. That is enough for me. For now.

There's just so much to learn, and I still get pretty excited when I figure out something new… like hyper-linking, or pasting badges, or downloading photos to my blog. What might be taken for granted by other more technologically adept bloggers, is still thrilling for me.

And I sometimes forget things I've done in the past… but am reminded by emails that arrive from places I've subscribed to, Google alerts I've set up, or networks I've joined. And I begin to see that I just don't have time to do it all well, so I do what I can and focus on the writing more than anything else.

Because I've discovered that I have to write to be whole… and I write to get out all the stuff that has been churning around inside me for years… and I write to connect with others that might be feeling the same things… and I write to perhaps shed a little light, give a little hope, share a little humanity with other humans.

One day I might be inspired to involve my graphic designer brother to design an attractive and creative blog environment for me, but for now the words will have to speak for themselves… with the ocassional photo thrown in… and maybe a badge or two.

I'm happy to share something I was emailed today… it's a list of how to Twitter well… just in case that's something you'd be interested in. For newbies like me, here's what the Twitter homepage says about their service,

"Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"

Twitter isn't part of my life yet… but maybe in time. My cell phone is only a week old (yes, my very first cell phone) I really don't know much about Twitter yet, so I'd better do a little surfing to find out and be able to comment from a more educated point of view. But, if you already Twitter, check this out;

Twitter Checklist (63)

As I dabble in the virtual world, I have to wonder if I dabble in the real world too? Have I got a handle on things here? Am I wasting the time I've been given? Does my life have purpose? Do my values and my actions line up? When I ask that simple Twitter question, 'What am I doing', what would my answer be?

I say that I love God above all else, and that I love people… but, what am I doing? I say that my husband and my family are my top priority… but, what am I doing? I say that writing is a gift that I've been given… but, what am I doing? I say that I want friendships within a community of accountability… but, what am I doing? I say that I want to be strong and healthy… but, what am I doing? I say that I want to be useful, and make a difference… but, what am I doing?

So, I guess Twitter is pretty profound after all. And that's just a first very superficial dabble. Now I need to drag myself away from this blog and refocus on my priorities and then maybe later, I can begin working through the realities of these questions for me.

TTYL,

Lesley-Anne

Mother daughter date night

Went to the movies tonight with my daughter Claire to see 'Up'. Didn't expect to need kleenex for this movie… but I did. It was wonderful… like Finding Nemo and Wall-E, it was beautifully animated, well scripted, a great story line, and not one bit of toilet humour to speak of. It's amazing how unnecessary this type of adult add-on is in childrens and family movies, yet how common. Thank God for Pixar!

'Up' was a warm and wonderful tale of love and loss and the discovery of things that matter most… relationships and finding purpose… even late in life. The love part of the tale was what initially grabbed me and held me and had me seeking out my hubby for a hand holding walk when I came back home. I don't want to spoil the movie for you, but see it if you can. I can promise you that it will touch your heart, make you laugh, and you might even clap your hands at the end.

I'm going to ask for the DVD when it comes out, and add it to some of my other fav's… Enchanted, White Christmas, The Princess Bride, Nacho Libre, Ratatouille and Master's of Disguise. Aren't movies fantastic!

Going to the theater is still a bigger than life experience for me… the popcorn tastes better there than at home, and there's something so romantic about looking up at the big screen. And to think I wasn't allowed to go to the movies until I was 16! But, that's another story:)

Good night all,

Lesley-Anne