Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I double dare you…

After two weeks on the road, our family has arrived home again. And after that length of time with the rest of my (trapped) family members, I have to say that this 'love dare' thing I/we started has applications to not only marriage, but every other relationship I have. Trouble is, I'm recognizing that I'm messing up in almost every case (except for with Buddy, my dog, who is the most forgiving family member I live with, and he was at home these two weeks with the house/dog-sitter).

Anyway, the man in my life (my darling hubby of 22 years) and I, found it hard to consistently read a chapter a day while on vacation, so we are about to start again on the daily dare thing now that we are back home. He thinks we'll be able to focus better. I think it might just be a different type of struggle for focus, but I'm still game.

This morning I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat on the porch to read "Day 7 - Love Believes the Best"… for the second time. I find I have to read things two and three times these days for the words to really sink in (or is that just a sign of aging?) So I read the chapter and I did my fair share of twitching and fidgeting as I felt both self-righteous and guilty at the same time. Then I got to my favourite part… the dare!!!

Today it was all about writing lists… two lists. One to focus on the positive characteristics of my man… one on the negative. And then the lists were to be put in a secret place for later… for what I wondered?

It felt weird writing down some of the things I did, but in another way it was good to really search out words to express all the good (bad and ugly) things that I felt about my husband. And I soon saw that the positive list was longer than the negative… that was a surprise :) And, I also saw that some of the same things were on both lists, but in different ways.

For example… being a leader was on the positive list… while being a control freak was on the negative list. Just a slight twist in perspective takes a good thing and turns it sour. Back to the concept of love believing the best rather than the worst about those we care about, right? Seems I need a wee bit of rehabilitation in this area. But, one day at a time.

So, my lists are written, and hidden. And I'm waiting for what comes next. In the meantime I'm searching for my man's hiding spot, and hoping his positive list is longer too.

Oh, you can get this book online or at your (my local) Christian bookstore.

Willing to change,


Friday, July 17, 2009

I dare you…!!!

We have been on family vacation for a week now… from our drive down Hwy 97 into the US, enjoying the hot arid climate of the Okanogan Valley of Washington State, not much different than Kelowna, our home. Then, along the Historic Columbia River Highway into Portland… amazing scenery, wonderful meals, different hotels each night, and lots of together time. It took some getting used to… being together 24-7!

Started something new today… day seven of holidays and day one of 'The Love Dare'… a book I picked up yesterday in a Seaside, Oregon book store. It caught my eye because I'd heard of it in a couple of different places. Watched the movic 'Fireproof' with the family, in which this Love Dare is a concept undertaken by the main character to save his failing marriage. Each day for (40?) days, a different reading along with an application immediately applied in my marriage… so, not just heady stuff, but real life stuff.

I think it's going to be hard. I don't know if I can do it.

And having spoken those negative words here… ironically here is day one's 'Dare':

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.

Here goes…

Monday, July 6, 2009

Do you twitter?

I've been online a lot lately, trying to find out what blogs are interesting, who's saying what, reading what, following what. I've been networking a wee bit and trying to make connections with potential readers, but most of all I've been blogging on my blogs.

It's a tad overwhelming trying to figure it all out… and wondering at times why I'm trying to conquer the virtual world… or even get a handle on something that is a constant moving target. Bottom line is I really just want to write, receive the ocassional comment, and know that I've somehow connected with a real person out there. That is enough for me. For now.

There's just so much to learn, and I still get pretty excited when I figure out something new… like hyper-linking, or pasting badges, or downloading photos to my blog. What might be taken for granted by other more technologically adept bloggers, is still thrilling for me.

And I sometimes forget things I've done in the past… but am reminded by emails that arrive from places I've subscribed to, Google alerts I've set up, or networks I've joined. And I begin to see that I just don't have time to do it all well, so I do what I can and focus on the writing more than anything else.

Because I've discovered that I have to write to be whole… and I write to get out all the stuff that has been churning around inside me for years… and I write to connect with others that might be feeling the same things… and I write to perhaps shed a little light, give a little hope, share a little humanity with other humans.

One day I might be inspired to involve my graphic designer brother to design an attractive and creative blog environment for me, but for now the words will have to speak for themselves… with the ocassional photo thrown in… and maybe a badge or two.

I'm happy to share something I was emailed today… it's a list of how to Twitter well… just in case that's something you'd be interested in. For newbies like me, here's what the Twitter homepage says about their service,

"Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"

Twitter isn't part of my life yet… but maybe in time. My cell phone is only a week old (yes, my very first cell phone) I really don't know much about Twitter yet, so I'd better do a little surfing to find out and be able to comment from a more educated point of view. But, if you already Twitter, check this out;

Twitter Checklist (63)

As I dabble in the virtual world, I have to wonder if I dabble in the real world too? Have I got a handle on things here? Am I wasting the time I've been given? Does my life have purpose? Do my values and my actions line up? When I ask that simple Twitter question, 'What am I doing', what would my answer be?

I say that I love God above all else, and that I love people… but, what am I doing? I say that my husband and my family are my top priority… but, what am I doing? I say that writing is a gift that I've been given… but, what am I doing? I say that I want friendships within a community of accountability… but, what am I doing? I say that I want to be strong and healthy… but, what am I doing? I say that I want to be useful, and make a difference… but, what am I doing?

So, I guess Twitter is pretty profound after all. And that's just a first very superficial dabble. Now I need to drag myself away from this blog and refocus on my priorities and then maybe later, I can begin working through the realities of these questions for me.



Friday, July 3, 2009

Mother daughter date night

Went to the movies tonight with my daughter Claire to see 'Up'. Didn't expect to need kleenex for this movie… but I did. It was wonderful… like Finding Nemo and Wall-E, it was beautifully animated, well scripted, a great story line, and not one bit of toilet humour to speak of. It's amazing how unnecessary this type of adult add-on is in childrens and family movies, yet how common. Thank God for Pixar!

'Up' was a warm and wonderful tale of love and loss and the discovery of things that matter most… relationships and finding purpose… even late in life. The love part of the tale was what initially grabbed me and held me and had me seeking out my hubby for a hand holding walk when I came back home. I don't want to spoil the movie for you, but see it if you can. I can promise you that it will touch your heart, make you laugh, and you might even clap your hands at the end.

I'm going to ask for the DVD when it comes out, and add it to some of my other fav's… Enchanted, White Christmas, The Princess Bride, Nacho Libre, Ratatouille and Master's of Disguise. Aren't movies fantastic!

Going to the theater is still a bigger than life experience for me… the popcorn tastes better there than at home, and there's something so romantic about looking up at the big screen. And to think I wasn't allowed to go to the movies until I was 16! But, that's another story:)

Good night all,



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